I lay here, clinging to my childhood teddy bear, bawling. A lot of things were packed tonight. A lot of memories were put in the "sale" pile. Tomorrow I'll me digging into the kitchen, bathroom and finishing the living room. I have one week from today to be completely out of my apartment, out of my sanctuary, out of my place, out of my home.
I always knew this day would come, just not like this. I dreamed of moving to be with a spouse, not back with my parents. I dreamed of having my things go with me to make a new place "home."
I had to find my bear, she had been packed into a bag. I had to find that something that held me too; that sense of comfort. It may seem somewhat childish, but I'm okay with that.
All this being said, I am thankful my parents are supportive enough to let me come back....after nine years out. I am thankful God is sending me on a venture greater than my craziest imaginations. I am thankful that in the morning I'll wake and know that God's peace surpasses my understanding; that His joy is my reward.
My bawling has ceased. I'm ready for sleep. The new day of bitter sweet emotion awaits me. Friends and family coming to help share these emotions with laughter, tears and comforting words.
Nobody said this would be easy.
Nobody said it would be so hard.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
More Bitter Than Sweet Tonight
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You are a child of the most high God, who always has His best interest in mind for you. This is not a setback but a time to regroup and build momentum. God has amazing things in store for you Laura. Be still and know that He is God. Rest in His presence and listen to His still small voice. Then step forward in boldness and go where He leads you.
ReplyDeleteI will be keeping you in prayer. Be blesed my sweet!
My dear Laura,
ReplyDelete"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for [you] I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
You are not alone, my friend. The Lord puts you on the hearts of many and you are covered in prayer. We love you!
{and Samantha is wonderful...}
"Nobody said this would be easy.
ReplyDeleteNobody said it would be so hard."
I get it sister. On so many levels.
One of those levels would be when I was packing up and moving to MX. I was terrified. And excited. And terrified. And joyful because I knew it was where God was leading me at the time. And terrified. :-)
I'm so excited for you and proud of you as you embark on this journey.